


Day & Night

by Geri_Lea



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 05:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16152845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geri_Lea/pseuds/Geri_Lea
Summary: Mark and Sebastian - they're night and day apart. Just like their relationship.





	Day & Night

**Author's Note:**

> This was written and set towards the end of the 2012 F1 season.  
> Don't mind me, bring across old fic from my LJ - I assume no one will mind. But you may have read this before.

Sebastian knows they were like day and night, in almost everything. He seemed to be able to find a positive in everything, unlike Mark who was nothing more than a miserable git most of the time and was always harping on about how cheery he was and calling it ‘smugness’. But Sebastian was pretty sure it was the things they didn’t have in common that drew them together, rather than what they did. Being teammates, driving in one of the most competitive sports in the world, wanting to beat the other more than anything, could drive wedges as large as the ocean between them; more than Mark simply wanting to smack the smile off his face.

Exhausted from his day that was filled with team sponsor events and fan activities that were expected on Thursdays, Sebastian drags himself to the door of his room. Not bothering to ask who it was, he opens the door to see Mark standing there as had become the norm on race weekends this season. He smiles sleepily at the taller Australian before greeting him, “Heee- eeeey.” A yawn punctuates the word as he ushers Mark inside.

“I know the feeling,” Mark says fighting back his own yawn while Sebastian sinks against the door to close it. “You want a quiet night?” Mark was in front of him, fingers touching his cheek briefly, the action enough to have Sebastian’s eyes flutter shut, wanting more than a brush of fingers, so he shakes his head.

“I haven’t seen you in a week,” he mumbles moving towards him, arms wrapping around Mark’s neck and shifting so every inch possible was pressed against the taller man. He presses his face into Mark’s neck and smiles when Mark doesn’t correct him and point out that wasn’t the case, and that they had seen each other since Texas. Sometimes, if Sebastian tried hard enough, blocked out everything, in the moments he was with Mark like this, all the other moments, them being teammates, doesn’t exist.

“Let’s go to bed,” Mark’s lips brush his ear, voice low with intent that has Sebastian cling to him tighter, body prickling all over with arousal. Tilting his head back, Sebastian offers Mark a silent invitation to his mouth, once that is quickly accepted as they kiss. The tired ache of his body dulls, overshadowed temporarily by need as they kiss heatedly, turning in circles and taking the longest path possible to the bed. At least when they tumble onto the sheets they were both gloriously naked and it has Sebastian arch into Mark and moan at the flesh pressed to his.

When they finally still, curled up together on top of crumpled sheets, Sebastian fights sleep as Mark lies half over him, nuzzling the curve of his neck. He wants to enjoy this, wants to cling to this moment because he knows tomorrow morning it will all be so different. He wanted this, them at night, to be how they were during the day, he just wasn’t sure that was possible. But maybe… “Stay,” he breathes out as his eyes finally slip closed. “Be here when I wake up…”

If there was a response Sebastian didn’t hear it, but when he wakes up, the sun shining through to mark a new day, he turns over. He stares at the empty bed; fingers sliding across the space Mark had been in mere hours earlier, to find it was cold. He pulls his hand back sharply and squeezes his eyes closed and tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt. He ends up biting his lip hard to keep the urge to cry at bay. Sometimes he wished the sun would never come up.

*

Every cold shoulder Mark gives him, every blank look, every time Mark ignores him, glares, shuns,  _hates_  him, hurts far more than ever before. All season it hard been getting more painful, but today it was agony. How can Mark sit there and stare at him icily after practice in their debriefing looking like he wanted to murder him when he knows in a few hours that same person would be in his bed, fucking him and doing  _anything_  Sebastian asked.

It feels too much today, Sebastian wants to get up and just hand Mark a knife and tell him to stab him, at least he thinks he can handle the physical pain more than this. This twisted relationship they had formed was playing with his head far more than any of their previous mind games. It sparks doubt that maybe all of this, even at night when Mark seemed like he cared, wasn’t real. Sebastian isn’t sure he could handle if it turned out Mark was playing him.

Maybe that was why when night rolls around, things are far more desperate than they had ever been. Mark hadn’t spoken one word to him all day and it has Sebastian desperate for Mark and aching for reassurance. And Mark responds with the same urgency, clutching at Sebastian, touching and holding him like it wasn’t enough, as Sebastian sits across his lap riding him, clinging to him as they share messy kisses. This felt so far from fucking that it scared him. When did it stop being fucking?

“Don’t,” Sebastian gasps when their lips part, “Don’t…leave,” he moans, fingers digging into Mark’s shoulders as he feels the beginning of his orgasm creep over him. He tries to hold it back, tries to stop it because he doesn’t want it to end, doesn’t want Mark to leave and hate him tomorrow. “Please,” he begs head falling back as a moan follows the plea. “Please stay!” Mark’s lips nibble at his throat, fingers on Sebastian’s hips and forcing him to keep moving, to fall over the edge. A sob escapes as does before he’s lost to the wave of pleasure, Mark cries muffled into his shoulder moments later.

Coming down, Sebastian hugs Mark’s head, keeping it pressed to his chest as he recovers. Maybe if he held on tightly, he wouldn’t have to wake up alone. But Mark fights the grip, pushes him to lie back, kissing him gently when he’s above Sebastian. When he pulls away, breaking the lingering kiss, he stares down at Sebastian with eyes full of pain that it has Sebastian grasp his cheeks, he wanted to take it all away, make Mark believe that it would all be okay; no matter what happened this weekend it would all be okay.

“Just stay,” he breathes out, “If you stay it will be okay,” he promises. Maybe if Mark could see it didn’t have to be all hate between them, that they could be more during the day, just like they were at night… if Mark could see he didn’t hate him, could see that beneath all their fighting on the track that Sebastian… his heart clenched painfully… that Sebastian  _loved_  him. If Mark could see that maybe it would be all okay.

“Quali tomorrow,” Mark murmurs, voice becoming devoid of emotion like it always did when they raced, “Get some rest.”

Sebastian doesn’t argue, just lies there, sleep feeling further away than ever. And when Mark does eventually leave, Sebastian opens his eyes in time to watch in the darkness as Mark redresses and then quietly slips out. And as the sun comes up Sebastian dreads getting out of bed to start the day because that meant Mark was back to hating him. He wasn’t sure he could keep this up for much longer. He thinks it would be easier if Mark hated him all the time, like he used to.

This was so much worse, and he wasn’t sure if he was to blame, if it was him that pushed them to this point. Maybe it was Mark. It was probably both of them. He can’t even recall when it started; it started long before the first time they fucked. The sex was just the end of one game and maybe the start of another. But Sebastian was sure if it was ever game to begin with it, it wasn’t anymore, not for him. And he was sure it wasn’t for Mark either, Sebastian just wasn’t sure if Mark would ever let himself realise that.

*

It all bleeds together, him and Mark. What was the clear cut line of when their relationship changed from teammates to lovers, becomes blurred. Sebastian can’t do it anymore, can’t keep the line distinct like Mark does. It’s not so easy, and even if Mark didn’t realise it, even day bleeds into night, there’s no clear line. And as Sebastian stands in the paddock watching Mark and Fernando joke around, laugh, teasing glances being thrown in his direction as he stood there with a hand clenched around his drink bottle, Sebastian wants to scream at Mark. Wants to tell him to cut the shit and pick one. He can’t do this anymore, he can’t!

And maybe for the first time, Sebastian let’s the teammate mask slip and reveal the other side, staring at Mark hurt. Both men fall silent, Fernando murmuring in Mark’s ear that has the Australian stiffen and speaking in a hushed angry whisper. And Sebastian decides then and there no more. No more because he was sick of feeling like this was all joke during the day. There were far more hours in a day than a night, and it was too much.

When Mark steps towards him, Sebastian spins on his heel and stalks away, sucking hard at his energy drink to stop his throat clenching up. No more, he wasn’t going to do this anymore.

As usual, Mark comes to seek him out at night, and Sebastian opens the door, knowing he wouldn’t be able to ignore Mark. But he doesn’t throw it open and offer an invite to the Australian; rather he positions himself so Mark can’t push his way through and greets him with, “Are you going to stay the night?”

“Hey Seb,” Mark gives him a small smile; it’s not quite as bright as usual. “Can we talk?”

“No,” Sebastian states firmly, “Not until you answer the question.” He wasn’t going to do it anymore, he wasn’t. He promised himself, it didn’t matter that it had taken him till the second last night of the season to get this point; it was now he was making a stand.

“Seb,” Mark reaches for him, eyes pleading with him.

“Are you going to stay?” Sebastian shrugs the hand from his arm. “The whole night, be here in the morning?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mark murmurs closing the space between them and causing Sebastian to suck in his breath while trying to put some space between them. “Let’s go inside…”

“No!” Sebastian raises his voice, not caring that he might attract attention because Mark wasn’t going to manipulate him anymore. He wasn’t, and he could do this.

“I don’t want to have this conversation in a hotel hallway Seb,” Mark hisses at him, hand trying to push against the door and he presses hard, testing the resistance Sebastian was putting up. “This isn’t as simple as you want to believe it is.”

“Fuck you,” Sebastian snaps angrily. “Yes it is! It’s as simple as answering the fucking question!”

“No it’s not!” Mark raises his voice now as well, his own frustration pouring out as his face darkens in an anger that was usually reserved for during the day only. “I can’t give you an answer, because it’s not the one you want and we need to talk.”

“We’re done,” Sebastian states in a shaky voice.

“Don’t be so fucking ridiculous mate. We will never be done,” Mark’s eyes burn into his, the weight he was putting behind his hand on the door increases but Sebastian doesn’t budge. “You think closing the door is going to just end this?”

“Well, let’s find out?” Sebastian steps back quickly and before Mark can react he slams the door closed before hurriedly stepping back. He stands there staring at the closed door waiting for Mark to do something. He envisioned his teammate kicking it down, making a scene in the hall, shouting and going off. But there’s only silence. Sebastian wasn’t even sure if Mark was there or had walked away, because there was only silence. Shakily he sinks to sit on the ground and hugs his knees and waits. But the only thing that arrives is the sun and another day.

*

He won. That’s the only thing that runs through Sebastian’s head when he emerges from the car after the race. He’s on a high, he floats on the disbelief, let’s himself be guided around doing his post race duties, all of it a blur, and his head spinning with it all. And the only time any of that comes crashing down is when he sees Mark leaning outside the door to his driver’s room, showered and dressed and looking tired.

Mark pushes himself off the wall, straightens up and gives him a tight smile. “Thought I’d say the congratulations now…”

Sebastian takes a moment to work out if the Mark that was there was the teammate or the lover. The stiff posture, the forced smile causing what little hope Sebastian had to deflate. Shaking his head he sighs, “Don’t bother.” Moving passed Mark, sees his wrist caught and as he turns around to snap at his teammate, it dies with the simple brush of a thumb across his inner wrist.

Sebastian lets Mark pull him into an embrace that must look as awkward as it felt. It’s nothing like the times Mark would wrap his arms around him behind hotel room doors, but still, despite that, Sebastian feels the heat from Mark’s hand on the back of his neck, the heat of his body. All so familiar and different in the same moment.

“Congratulations.”

The word is breathed into his ear, voice soft and genuine and nothing like the awkward hug he was being given. Day and night apart. And it has Sebastian sink into Mark, hug him back, tightening his grip on him and hanging on, not caring that this wasn’t the time to blur all their lines. He won and he wanted Mark to be happy for him, to celebrate with him. He wanted Mark to –

“It’s easier for you Seb,” Mark tells him quietly cutting off his thoughts. “Easier because you’re winning. If things were reversed I doubt you’d be asking me to stay.” And with that, before Sebastian can think of a response, Mark was pulling away and walking off. When he does open his mouth to argue, Mark was already gone and he was alone, momentarily forgetting the high he was on, until there were three of his mechanics there to pull him back up, jumping on him and dragging him back out to the garage to celebrate. And surrounded by cheers of his team, he forgets about the absence of a teammate that despised him, but instead longs silently for the one person that wasn’t here; Mark.

*

Sebastian knows he’s drunk and it’s not because he’s singing at the top of his lungs while out with the team, but rather because he’s pretty sure that Heikki and Adrian who were singing with him were the only reason he was still on his feet, both clutching him tightly as they three of them belt out songs of their choosing over the top of whatever the club was playing. But just in case there was any doubt he was released suddenly and the unexpected loss of support sees Sebastian flailing wildly only to be caught.

Mark. Sebastian knows it’s him not from sight but from smell. All fresh and showered, it was clean and hot. He buries his face in Mark’s neck and breathes him completely forgetting they were surrounded by the team.

“Seb!” Mark barks his name, fingers yanking at his hair with nearly enough force to rip it out from the root. “What the fuck?” Mark glares down at him furiously, but the flush to his face was more of embarrassment rather than anger.

Sebastian chooses to ignore it and instead smiles up at him and breathes out, “You came.”

“It’s a team party isn’t it?” Mark arches an eyebrow at him not once loosening his grip on Sebastian’s hair, not trusting his younger teammate to keep things appropriate.

“Yeah…” Sebastian smile widens and he winds his arms around Mark’s neck. “Let’s dance since I know you’re an awful singer.” Remembering Mark’s attempt at singing in the past has him giggle. He let’s out a cry when the drink is plucked from his hand.

“How many have you had?” Mark demands an answer and Sebastian finds himself being dragged away from the team. He waves at his trainer over Mark’s shoulder who was staring at them with raised eyebrows and it has Sebastian erupt in another round of giggles because he just remembered that he and Mark were a secret. He presses a finger to his lips so Heikki knows, his trainer then promptly choking on his drink and having a coughing fit.

“Sober up!” Mark orders throwing him off and into the crowd of people dancing.

The sudden movement has Sebastian grasping at people as the world spins violently, trying to stay upright. It’s Mark that reaches for him, steadying him. “Fuck Seb,” Mark sighs, “Can’t you act like a grown up for once? Always a fucking child.”

Sebastian bats at Mark’s hand, fury in his eyes. “And you are such an adult!”

“Yes Seb, such an insult there,” Mark’s voice drips with sarcasm.

“Shuddup!” Sebastian points wildly where he thinks the door is. “Go home to your stupid country and go hop with some fucking kangaroos and your stupid mates!”

The corner’s of Mark’s mouth twitch at that, clearly fighting back a smile. “Make me  _Sebi_.”

Sebastian reacts instantly, hand lashing out intent on slapping Mark but he’s too slow, or Mark’s too fast because the hand is caught and suddenly Mark was  _right there_ , pressed against him, face looming above his.

“Stop fucking around,” Mark states to him. “I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but which Mark?” There’s no hiding the bitterness in his tone and it’s enough to sober him up slightly.

Mark shakes his head sighing. “Seb, you don’t get both, especially here. Not here.”

“I just wanted you to stay,” Sebastian tells him pained then. All the hurt suddenly flooding back drowning out his happiness, only Mark seemed to have that ability to sap that from him. “Why won’t you stay with me?”

“Enjoy your night Seb, celebrate, I’m here but that’s all you get right now. Okay?” Mark’s hand slides down his back though, it has Sebastian bite his lip to hold back a moan, skin jumping alive under the touch. And then the hand is gone, Mark gone and he’s alone on the edge of the dance floor. He turns around searching for him but stops when that has his stomach lurch sickeningly. He makes a note to stop turning, and instead seeks another drink. He needs it.

*

There’s a small slit in the curtains of the window across from the bed, it’s the thin streak of sunlight that has wakes him with a disgruntled moan. It hurts, the mornings hurt. He hated mornings. Rolling over he tries to escape the sunlight and his pounding head only to encounter warmth.

His eyes snap open and he stops breathing for a moment. Mark was here? Mark had stayed? Mark was here and it was morning? Note quite sure that this wasn’t a dream, Sebastian reaches out and pokes at Mark, hand then wandering over the exposed chest before he shifts so he was pressed against Mark’s side. Mark was here. He was really here and it has Sebastian push his face into Mark’s throat and he keeps it there as Mark’s arm come around him.

“Vomit on me mate and we will have problems,” Mark mumbles sleepily.

“You’re here…” Sebastian responds, words muffled against Mark’s shoulder because he refuses to lift his head, actually he wasn’t sure he could.

“Someone had to get you back, ensure you didn’t vomit and choke to death…”

Sebastian stills at that. Was Mark just here because he got plastered last night?

“Stop thinking,” Mark sighs, fingers tightening in his hair. “Go back to sleep. I fucking stayed.”

“Will you be here when I wake back up?” he asks hesitantly, clutching at Mark tighter.

“Yeah…” Mark sounds defeated in his answer but Sebastian doesn’t care, instead snuggles into him.

“It’ll be okay,” Sebastian whispers before closing his eyes, feeling the pull of sleep already. “I promise.”

“We’ll see,” Mark whispers, “We’ll see mate.”

*          *          *


End file.
